Just One Thing
by TheQuirkClerk
Summary: It wasn't the Tri-Wizard Tournament that scared Sirius Black. Oh no, Remus Lupin was much scarier. RemusxSirius
1. Chapter 1

"That ruddy old _git!_"

James Potter watched, dumbfounded, as Albus Dumbledore settled comfortably back into his seat, serving himself a generous portion of mashed potatoes and striking up a leisurely chat with Professor Slughorn as several hundred students watched him with varying degrees of incredulity.

"How can he spring news like that on us then just...just," his voice faltered, "...eat food like that!" He finished anti-climatically, his voice full of badly suppressed emotion. If there was one thing James hated, it was being left hanging.

"Relax, mate," Sirius encouraged lazily, leaning casually against Remus and helping himself to a large platter of chicken, "It's not like the tasks are going to start in the middle of dinner." He was just as excited to hear the news, but, unlike his best friend, the combination of the feast, and the fact that he was finally seeing his three friends after a particularly nasty summer with his family, was enough to keep him content until Dumbledore was ready to pick up from where he had left off.

"But it's the _Tri-Wizard Tournament!_" James protested weakly, looking at Sirius as if he had just proclaimed that his ever-lasting love of Severus Snape. "He can't tell us that something like that is going on this year, then leave us hanging like that!" He glared indignantly at Dumbledore, folding his arms across his chest with an angry huff.

"Drop it," Remus advised calmly, pushing a plate towards James. "I wouldn't recommend looking at the headmaster like that either, James. Glaring daggers at the back of his head isn't bound to earn the approval of the staff." His voice was stern, but a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth gave away his true feelings of fondness for his slightly more anxious friend. Beside him, Peter nodded, his cheeks bulging with food.

"Oh, shut it," James shot at Peter childishly, pulling his plate towards himself and beginning to pile food on with an air of imperious dignity. Never mind the fact that he hadn't technically _said _anything. Remus shook his head, rolling his eyes but still grinning.

"Be nice," He scolded gently, prodding James in the stomach with his fork.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed through a mouthful of food, "Be a good boy and eat your supper. Dumbledore'll get to the point soon enough."

Remus snorted into his plate. "I wouldn't be talking, Padfoot."

"Yeah, you're not exactly a "good boy" either," James agreed, now tucking into a bowl of chowder. "I can think of a few things you told me over the summ-_ouch,_" James yelped as Sirius' foot met his shin with a sound crack. "I wasn't going to be specific," he protested, glaring at Sirius as he massaged his shin.

Sirius said nothing, poking a bit of chicken with his knife rather more forcefully than truly necessary, shooting a meaningful look at James. During his "incarceration" as he called it, with his family over the summer, Sirius had kept up contact between himself and James though the owl post. Though the young Potter was not known for his sensitivity, Sirius knew that he could trust him with things close to his heart that he would never even consider telling anyone else. A particularly sensitive subject had been prodding at the edge of Sirius' conscience for a while before the summer had started, but, rather uncharacteristically, had not been able to pluck up the courage to bring up the topic until well into July. It was this, perhaps, that had made James take _this_ seriously where he would not with other, less touchy things that Sirius had told him in the past. He would never reveal Sirius' secrets on purpose, but could certainly not be trusted not to let something slip by accident.

Remus and Peter gave each other slightly confused looks, but said nothing. Things said and done between James and Sirius were best left alone. If it was something that they needed to know...well, they trusted the pair to let them know about it.

The subject was dropped, and the rest of dinner was spent filling each other in on bits of their holiday that had not been communicated in letters.

"And then Kreacher walked in," Sirius was saying, a grimace fixed on his face. "I don't think I've ever seen my mum that upset."

Remus gave him casual one-armed hug, sighing understandingly. "I'm sorry, mate. I can't imagine what it's like to live with people like that."

Sirius nodded miserably, flopping limply against his friend, "I _hate _living there. It's all dark and musty and miserable and...stuff. And my family is just about as dead as the house."

"Ah well, only three more summers there, then you're free," James consoled, "And that's if we can't get you over to my place. You know my parents love you. Can't quite figure out _why_, but..." He ducked, chuckling and Sirius' fist missed his head by mere centimeters.

"Meanie," He pouted, giving Sirius rather unconvincing puppy eyes, "I'll be sure to tell them you're busy if they ever fancy inviting you for the summer holiday." He ducked again as Sirius' fist rose again.

"Enough, you two," Remus said mildly, catching Sirius' fist and holding it tightly in his own until James had scrambled back into his seat. Sirius sat obediently, leaning against Remus again with a self-satisfied air, arms folded across his chest. James gave him a meaningful look, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, and Sirius aimed another kick at him.

It was clear that another scuffle would have broken out had Dumbledore not gotten to his feet, clearing his throat. At this, however, James sat bolt upright, fixing all of his attention on the headmaster. Sirius allowed his attention to focus on him as well, and waited excitedly for him to speak.

"Now that you are all fed and watered, I suspect you all would like to hear more about the Tri-Wizard Tournament," he began, a small smile appearing on his face as James scoffed sarcastically. "And so be it. The tournament is an inter-school championship between three prestigious wizarding schools; Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Each school will have a school champion to represent them in the tournament. These champions are set three tasks, each designed to test wit, strength, bravery and stamina. They will be great challenges and are not for the faint of heart. I encourage each of you to examine yourselves very carefully before entering your names to be considered as school champion." He gazed around at the students, meeting several pairs of eyes before continuing. "The other schools will be arriving on October thirty-first, just in time to join us for the Halloween feast. Please remember that this is not only a chance for students to show off their magical prowess, but an opportunity to form friendships and strengthen the bonds and partnership between ourselves and our guest schools. There is nothing more affective against dark wizards than the power of unity; united we stand, divided we fall. Now, when our guests arrive, you will be given more information on you how you may enter your names for consideration as school champion. Now, I suggest you get some sleep! You are dismissed!"

There was a loud thundering of scraping as the students pushed the benches away from the tables, stood up, and began filing towards their respective common rooms and dormitories. Sirius, Remus, James and Peter followed the rest of the Griffindors to the portrait of the Fat Lady, hoping to catch the password from someone else before they were locked out.

"Oy!" Sirius shouted at a straggling second year, who was already halfway through the portrait hole. Seeing Sirius, his eyes widened considerably, and he tumbled into the common room, dashing away as fast as his stubby little legs would allow.

"What was that all about?" He questioned mildly, catching the portrait before it could swing shut and holding it open for the other three.

"Isn't that the boy you jinxed last year?" Remus inquired, stepping through the hole. "He was spitting bubbles for a week."

Sirius and James cracked identical grins, "Ah yes...that was meant for Snivellus, but he got in the way," Sirius reminisced airily. "Pity, I put all that effort into learning that jinx...I figured Snape could use a bit of soap.

"Ah well, no use dwelling on the past," James said cheerfully, "At least it didn't go to waste; we'll just need to find someone else to get the password from." He halted, eyes fixing on a girl chatting with a friend in a chair by the fire. "Excellent! It's Lily!" He exclaimed happily, bounding over to her, leaving the rest of them to climb the stairs to the dormitories without him.

"You reckon he'll ever get her?" Sirius asked a few minutes later, as they unpacked their trunks."It's been four years now." He flopped back onto his bed, leaving most of his possessions strewn-haphazardly around the room and on his bed.

Remus shrugged, sitting beside him. "You never know, I suppose. Maybe if he sticks a pin into that over-sized head of his and begins to understand that Lily is _not _impressed with his pranks..."

"I don't know about that actually," Sirius interrupted, smirking, "I saw her laughing during our end-of-year prank last year. Stopped the moment I saw her, though."

"I wouldn't go telling James that," Remus laughed, stretching out over the bed with a yawn, "Lily can be right scary when she puts her mind to it, and I doubt that that would be information she would want James to be aware of."

Sirius snorted, "Don't I know it. I tried to copy her notes last year and kept finding myself dotting my 'i's with little hearts for a week afterwards. Earned myself quite a few awkward questions from teachers. Old Dumbly-dear called me into his office to have a little talk about "not hiding my feelings" and "not being ashamed"."

At this,both Peter, who was finishing up his unpacking, and Remus burst into laughter, doubling over as Sirius just grinned. It wasn't often that he got to hear Remus Lupin laugh, but when he did, it made him realize just how much he had missed him over the summer.

Sirius watched as Remus recovered, still clutching his sides slightly. "Wow," He gasped, still chuckling slighty, "I would have liked to have seen that." Sirius smiled and brushed a lock of golden hair from Remus' face. He didn't answer for a moment, staring off out of the window for a moment, gazing at the velvet blue sky with a glazed expression before speaking once more.

"God, I missed this place," He whispered, fingers playing absently with the edge of his robes. Leaning back, he closed his eyes. "This summer was really bad, Moony. I really don't know how much longer I can stand it."

Remus sighed, not knowing quite what to say. He honestly had no idea what it was like to have parents like Sirius'. His own parents had always been a source of constant support and love that was shown every month from the age of six. Silently, he slung an arm around Sirius' shoulders and the two sat in peace for a few minutes, the quiet punctuated only by the rustling of clothes from Peter and occasional shouts of laughter from the common room that could be heard rising from the floor. A little while later, James burst through the door, arms loaded with butterbeer and sweets from the kitchens and they stayed up late into the night, reminiscing about old pranks, planning new ones, and discussing the classes they had chosen for the year: all of them had applied for the same ones, of course.

It was close to midnight when they finally settled into bed, yawning good nights to each other before pulling the curtains shut. Sirius watched from the corner of his eyes as Remus tugged his own curtains closed around himself.

Sirius Orion Black was not afraid of anything. He could walk through The Forbidden Forest without fear, a carefree, reckless expression on his face. He could run wild with a werewolf over the Hogwarts grounds at night and laugh about it in the morning. No creature could deter him. No human, teacher or student, could bring him down, try as they might. He was always a step ahead, smirk fixed permanently on his handsome face. It seemed as if he could run wild forever, causing trouble and playing pranks exactly as he wished. The idea of the Tri-Wizard tournament only thrilled him; a chance to show off, to test himself and his limits. Students had died in the past, but this didn't matter. If anything, it added to the fun. Nothing could touch Sirius Black. No one, not James, not Peter, not even Dumbledore, could ever imagine that the only thing that truly scared him was none other than one Remus Lupin.

So, what do you think? Like? Love? Review! I love to hear concrit :3


	2. Chapter 2

Remus Lupin awoke the next morning knowing something was wrong. No morning light streamed through the large, doubled-paned windows: it couldn't have been three hours since they had all fallen asleep.

Shifting sleepily, he attempted to slide out of bed, only to find that something heavy was pinning his feet in place. He twisted his body in the direction of his feet. Squinting, he tried to make out what it was. It seemed to blend into the darkness, it's own blackness blending into the cool night air around it. Quietly, he leaned forwards...

"Padfoot?"

The shaggy black dog on his feet stirred slightly, a single yellow eye sliding open. The eye remained fixed on Remus for several long seconds as Sirius seemed to debate with himself. Then, the dog disappeared,to be replaced by a disheveled and sleepy-looking Sirius. He grinned almost sheepishly at Remus.

"Hello, Remmie dear. Fancy to see you here."

"Sirius, this is my bed..." Remus retorted amusedly, raising an eyebrow. "It being painfully early in the morning, why wouldn't I be here?"

Sirius shrugged, scratching the back of his neck and looking sideways at him, "Fair point."

"I don't suppose you would care to explain _why_ you are sleeping on my feet? Not that I don't enjoy having my circulation cut off..." He eyed Sirius curiously.

"Well, you see, there was this _bug._ And it was crawling across the hangings of my four-poster, and it was nasty and looked poisonous and big and scary and icky....and nasty" Sirius informed him, pretending to shudder with fear. "So I figured I would drag my poor, tired body to your bed because you're big and strong and can protect me from the big, evil bug." He finished simply, shrugging casually. Remus observed him for a second, frowning.

"Sirius..."

Said boy seemed to deflate slightly, looking at Remus with pained eyes, as if he were pleading for him to understand.

"I...Remus...I needed something...alive." He whispered, now fixing his eyes on the blanket, where his fingers were picking at the seams. "Everything at my place is so _dead. _Mum, dad, even Reg. It's like they go through the emotions of being alive. They have an idea of how life is _supposed_ to be, and they're determined to live it out, even if they never feel like it's right. And it's not just them...the whole house is like that. The walls, the furniture, that damned family tree...it...it's sucking the life out of me, Moony."His eyes were desperate as he continued, seeming to plead with Remus to understand. "But you...you're so _alive. _You and James and Peter. I needed to feel that, even if it was just a little bit. Being there behind the hangings...I..." He trailed off, and Remus could tell that he really had nothing else to say.

Deciding that words were not the best medium to explain what he wanted to convey to Sirius, he simply patted the spot on the bed beside him.

"Well, if you really need it, I'm not going to make you sleep at the foot of my bed. Plus, I'd like to be able to walk in the morning."

Sirius' face split into a grin, his body relaxing. "You're a life saver, Moony."

Remus shrugged, smiling, as Sirius settled down beside him, batting his eyelashes mock-flirtatiously, "Just don't take advantage of me as I sleep." His voice was light and teasing, but the look in his eyes betrayed immense relief. As his gaze met Remus's, something passed between them; a grateful look, and an understanding.

"Just make sure _you_ don't let James see you. I don't know what he'd do if he found out that the Great Sirius Black was afraid of the dark."

He ducked as a pillow came flying towards his head.

"Kidding, kidding..."

When Remus next opened his eyes, it was at a much more reasonable hour. He could still feel Sirius's warm body beside him, curled up into a tight ball as he slept. Chuckling, he leaned over him.

"Paaaadfooot. Wake up! The sun is shining and the happy bunnies say hello!"

Sirius rolled over, groaning. "Fuck the bunnies. Go'way..." He batted blindly at the spot he thought Remus's voice must have been coming from.

Remus seemed to consider this for a moment. Then, with a sudden, sharp movement, he shoved Sirius from the bed.

"As a matter of fact, I don't think I will. Get in your own bed before James sees you."

However, Sirius, now that he was awake, seemed to have other plans. Standing up and detangling himself from the mass of blankets wrapped around his limbs, he launched himself at James's bed.

"UP AND AT 'EM!" He screeched, checking to make sure James was awake before moving on to Peter's bed.

James sat up, rubbing his eyes blearily as Sirius repeated his wake-up call for Peter.

"Bloody hell, mate....what's this about? We shouldn't have to get up for at least another hour..."

Sirius's face broke into a slightly evil smile.

"It's the first day back. I think what this school needs is a bit of a prank to start off the year."

At this, James perked up, rolling onto his side, then into a sitting position. A grin was slowly spreading across his face as well.

"You know what? I think you're right. That's _just _what we need. Something at breakfast then? Anyone have any ideas?"

Peter, who had fallen back onto his pillow the moment Sirius had walked away from his bed, suddenly raised his head. "Actually, I think I might!" He said enthusiastically, his round face eager. It was usually James, Sirius or Remus that thought up the pranks. Over the summer, he had spent hours trying to think of something suitable...something that could prove that he was not just a cling-on in the Marauder group. It had come to him as he was walking down the streets of his neighborhood. It was a Muggle neighborhood, though he came from a family of witches and wizards. He had been strolling past the electronics shop, watching the window-full of television displays, when something on one of the screens caught his eye. A group of Muggle students....dancing and singing in time with each other. It had struck Peter as odd, but strangely interesting. The song seemed to go with the things that were going on in the lives of Muggles in the television....and then it hit him. He spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the shop, ignoring the strange looks of the other customers, watching the film play over and over. The Muggle film, as he later found out, was called "Grease", and it had given him what he now viewed as his "master plan". Sitting up in his bed, Peter began to explain...

Breakfast was going smoothly. Students sat at their House tables, eating and still eagerly discussing the Tri-Wizard Tournament. James and Sirius were having a lively debate over how the champions were going to be chosen.

"I'm telling you, they're going to bring in someone from the Ministry," James was saying, pounding the table over-enthusiastically with his fist. " How else are they going to have someone who isn't biased? All of the teachers favor one house or another."

Sirius snorted, "And the ministry isn't biased? Families could pay them them off to have their spawn selected. Wouldn't put it past the Malfoys. They'll do anything to earn a bit more glory for their name. Not that the blonde-headed b-"

Remus interrupted them suddenly. "It's time. Nott finally took a sip...We just need to activate the potion. Who's going to do the honors?"

Sirius stopped talking abruptly, glancing over at the Slytherin table. "Peter? It was your idea. Why don't you do it?"

The boy shifted slightly in his seat, biting his lip. Eyes darting between his three friends, he spoke up, trying to make his voice casual, but failing miserably.

"Nah...you're better at spell work, Remus. You do it."

The werewolf raised an eyebrow, "Come on...this is brilliant. You deserve it...and I want to be able to say that I had no part in this."

Peter hesitated for a moment, then raised his wand, looking worried.

"_Decanto Slytherins!"_

The effect was immediate. All talk at the Slytherin table ceased, and the entire hall turned to look curiously at the suddenly mute House. For several long moments, no one moved. Peter looked horrified, obviously afraid that he had done something terrible. Then, Snape jumped to his feet, looking stunned as he found himself leaping to the top of the table.

Everyone's attention was fixed on Snape as the lights in the hall dimmed, and Sirius whispered 'lumos', shooting a glowing ball of light into the air to illuminate Snape and the rest of the Slytherins. Then, a slow, but dramatic beat began to emit from the air. When it first began., no one seemed to be able to register what happened...it could be..Snape couldn't be...singing?

_Your story's sad to tell, a teenage ne'er-do-well  
Most mixed up non-delinquent on the block  
Your future's so unclear now, what's left of your career now  
Can't even get a trade-in on your smile _

It was truly terrible sound, loud and screeching. Snape's eyes widened, and he attempted to clap his hands over his mouth, but his body didn't seem to want to obey him. Around him, the other Slytherins had gotten to their feet as well, and, much to their horror, began to tap their feet it time with the rhythm, hips swaying. Their mouths opened, and a chorus issued from their mouths.

_Beauty school drop-out, no graduation day for you  
Beauty school drop-out, missed your midterms and flunked shampoo  
Well at least you could have taken time to wash and clean your clothes up  
After spending all that dough to have the doctor fix your nose up _

Snape now began to join in the dancing, strutting down the center of the table, his hands on his hips.

_Baby get moving ,better get moving, why keep your feeble hopes alive  
What are you proving ,what are you proving?  
You've got the dream, but not the drive  
If you go for your diploma, you could join a steno pool  
Turn in your teasin' comb and go back to highschool_

The other houses had begun to get over the shock, and the laughter had started. Over at the Gryffindor table, James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were nearly in tears, clutching their sides as they struggled to breath.

The Slytherin "chorus" tossed their heads back in unison, replying to Snape's lyrics

_Beauty school drop-out, hangin' around the corner store  
Beauty school drop-out, it's about time you knew the score  
Well they couldn't teach you anything, you think you're such a looker  
But no customer would go to you, unless she was a hooker_

On the word hooker, Snape tore off his school robe, tossing it to the side and falling to his knees in dramatic anguish. He ran his fingers through his hair with one hand, tilting his head back and clutching his heart with the other.

_  
Baby don't sweat it (don't sweat it), you're not cut out to hold the job  
Better forget it (forget it), who wants their hair done by a slob  
Now your bangs are curled, your lashes twirled, and still the world iscruel  
Wipe off that angel face and go back to highschool_

Baby don't blow it, don't put my good advice to shame  
Baby you know it, even Dear Abby's say the same  
Now I've called the shot, get off the pot, I really gotta fly  
Gotta be goin' to that maltshop in the sky 

He finished flare, falling backwards from his knees in a swoon. The surrounding Slytherins moved in as one, lifting him above their heads and belting out the final words, growing softer as they finished.

_Beauty school drop-out, go back to highschool  
Beauty school drop-out, go back to highschool  
Beauty school drop-out, go back to highschool _

A deafening roar of laughter, applause and cat calls greeted the finish. Even the staff seemed unable to keep straight faces. The Slytherins remained frozen in place for a moment, holding Snape above their heads like a trophy until the potion released them, and they snapped into action, dropping Snape as a single unit. Sirius could see his Malfoy and his posse looking pale-faced and as if they were going to be sick. He grinned; he could see his cousin Bellatrix among them, and felt a savage pleasure at being able to humiliate someone so close to his family.

Next to him, Remus has his fist stuffed into his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter. James had collapsed against Peter, and was sobbing joyously into his shoulder.

"That..." He choked out, "Was bloody brilliant. Peter-"

He was cut off by a firm hand on his shoulder. The three suddenly fell silent as they looked in to the livid face of Minerva McGonagall.

Sirius stared moodily at his crystal ball, glaring into it's glittery depths.

"I can't believe she gave us a _months_ worth of detentions..."

Beside him, James was staring glazedly at his reflection. An expression of bliss was plastered across his face, and it seemed as if not even a years worth of detention could spoil his mood.

"Cheer up, Padfoot. At least we finish before the other schools arrive. I think Minnie might have enjoyed that just a little bit. Come on, who could resist Snape singing the word "hooker"?" He answered cheerfully, nudging Sirius with his elbow. "And we have detention together! It won't be too bad. And Remus can help us with our homework, since Mr. Prefect wormed his way out of punishment."

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but was immediately beat down by Peter, Sirius and James' insistence that he had been just as involved as the rest of them.

"Fine, fine..." He obliged, holding up his hands in mock-defeat, "Just promise never to subject me to singing like that _ever _again."

A/N:

And there we have it! I kinda suck at prank ideas, and it was a pretty much pointless chapter after the beginning, but it would've been out of character for the Marauders not to do anything on the first day of term...I didn't want to rush too much either. I'm a bit skeptical about this chapter, but I hope you found it even slightly amusing! Feedback is loved, cooked and eaten for breakfast.


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